Sometimes i feel i just want to walk away. If I am being scold usually i just keep quiet at first. Then if i could not take it I'll explode. Nowadays, weeks before I'm have my period i'm not being so pain in the a** like i usually do.
Back then i usually be so STRESSED. sikit2 kan marah. Now I'm no longer like that but I became very sensitive nowadays. The sensitiveness would lead to tears. All i can do is cry. Crying makes me better. Its not wrong to cry rather than doing stupid things that could hurt me.
Most of the people say the youngest child would be pampered and yang paling 'MANJA'. For me that is not intirely true..... Cos i'm not being pampered nor yang paling MANJA. Everytime i'm being scold or being lectured i always keep quiet and I dont talk back. Still I feel that i'm the kurang ajar among my siblings. I know that all of them went to 6th form and have a proper jobs now. Left me who are still studying. I just wish i could the scholarship. Its not that i want to use the money for bad purposes.
Its just that i dont want people as in my family to suffer paying me all the fees and me everyday life expenses. Its a big burdon to me. I just hope i could get it. AMIN!
I dont like to be selfish and i dont keep the grudge when people hurts me or did something bad to me. I just dont like to be treated as a stupid person. People have feelings. I wish i could have my driving license as soon as possible so everytime I am stress I just can go out and calm myself down.
I wish everything would be ok by tomorrow. I'm sick of feeling this way and i'm now tired to write.
I know its wrong for me to say all of this. Life is always hard. A person must work hard for it to gain success and happiness. All my life have thought me many things. Syukur Alhamdulillah I still remember to pray to ALLAH. I just hope i'll live a good life. AMIN!
::: M87 :::
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