sometimes i dont know where i stand..

What am i? do i look like i'm a mean person? i try to be kind with someone and try not to be a bad person.. it turns out i am being hate. what do i have to be jealous of? i am just a normal person. it just kills me if someone hates me or dislike me. what did i do wrong? maybe its better for me to be quiet, keep my mouth shut so that i would not hurt people's heart. happiness. that's the only thing that i want... i love everyone around me... my family, my lover and my friends. its very hard for me not to helped my friends in anyway who are in need eventhough some maybe dislikes me. its because i know how it feels like being left out or being all alone. i tried to be cruel but i cant. its not a good thing to do and its just not me.

I just hope people would understand that what i have done for all this time is not for a bad intention... it just... i want to feel the joyfulness and no hatred between each other. just that. i think i did a lot of mistake that may hurt other people's feelings. i am so sorry if i did. i agree since this one person came into my life.. he lights up my everyday with happiness. he's my lover and also my best friend. i am so thankful that he came appeared in my life. i dont know what would the future brings but i just hope that he could be the one that i spent my life with. he's everything that i want in a guy.

his smile...the way he treats me.. the way he pampered me... i love the way you walk.. the way you talk to me.. how you sing.. your capiee-ness.. 'jealousy in me'. i can say i am a jealous person.
losing you is the thing that i want to stay away from. i fear to lose you. i really love you md.khairulanwar. i know this post is so deep. i just need to let it out. i don't want to hurt anybody anymore. its ok that i bare the pain. for now.. i wan't to apologize to someone that i hurt. i am so sorry.


; mizah